Twitter users’ minds have rocketed into the gutter after a particularly horny news cycle.
In the space of three days, the world learned that New Yorker staff writer Jeffrey Toobin was suspended after he exposed himself on a work Zoom call; that President Donald Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani was caught on camera putting his hand down his pants in front of a woman who he believed was a journalist but who was actually an actor pranking him for Sacha Baron Cohen’s new “Borat” movie; and that Fort Bragg’s Twitter account had fired off a series of lewd tweets, which the Army base said were the result of a hack, before the account was shut down altogether.
All that, on top of an already off-the-rails year of news, has apparently sent imaginations into overdrive. So when The Independent sent out a cryptic tweet that NASA was set to make a major announcement about the moon, the suspense proved a little too much for people to handle:
nasa announces the moon was caught on a zoom call, waxing off
— Tony Tulathimutte (@tonytula) October 21, 2020
when this pandemic is over there’s going to have to be some sort of mass de-hornification, just planes flyiing coast-to-coast spraying the latest anti-horny agent, this is the only way we heal https://t.co/Erp5HcXFYk
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) October 21, 2020
Giuliani touch his dick
Quibi going under quick
Ft Bragg did some horny tweet
Moon is hiding mystery
WE DIDNT START THE FIRE
— OnlySams (@Slammy_P) October 21, 2020
*scientist approaches podium*
“Good morning. Thank you for coming. After decades of research, we have found no correlation between the Moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie and amore.”
*journalists jump to their feet asking questions* https://t.co/mygCWe9QnE
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) October 21, 2020
For what it’s worth, NASA’s cryptic announcement about its “exciting new discovery” is related to its efforts to learn about the moon in support of deep space exploration. Wednesday’s news release mentioned the Artemis program, which hopes to send the first woman and next man to the moon in 2024 to prepare for human exploration of Mars “as early as the 2030s.”
NASA will hold a press conference on Monday ― so we’ll know then what exactly it was that the moon did or didn’t do.