You’d think a realtor trying to sell a home for $590,000 that she describes as a “little slice of hell” would have a devil of a time.
But realtor Mimi Foster said that a dilapidated five-bedroom, four-bathroom Colorado Springs home adorned in spray-painted sayings like “suck my ass” and feces stuffed in drawers is a pretty hot commodity.
Foster told local news channel she has received “16 written cash offers in the first 24 hours of the house being on the market.”
“I list vacant houses all the time. I have not seen this kind of hysteria, even in this market,” she explained to the ABC affiliate. “I’ve gotten about 89 text messages since we’ve gotten to the house this afternoon.”
She explained to the outlet that the housing market in Colorado is red-hot. There’s vastly fewer listings than usual and most houses are selling as-is.
“People aren’t asking for anything,” she said in regards to closing costs or major fixes.
And this particular house needs a lot of fixes.
In Foster’s listing for the literal house of horrors posted to , the realtor was brutally honest in her descriptions of the home, which she says “is not for the faint of heart.”
“As you enter, there are soaring ceilings and an open floor plan with a second-floor overlook,” Foster wrote in the listing. “You will also notice there is not one surface of the home that has not been enhanced with black spray paint or a swinging hammer.”
She added: “But don’t let that slow you down. It’s not nearly as daunting as the freezer in the basement that’s full of meat and hasn’t had electricity … for over a year. So be sure to wear your mask.” She notes that there’s a back patio, but “don’t go out there as the deck is not necessarily attached to the house in the manner you might hope.” She also admits that the home is located “in the pink of a geological landslide area.”
“Come feast your senses,” she concluded. “DO NOT GO ON BACK DECK. DO NOT OPEN FREEZER IN BASEMENT.”
A YouTube video (above) featured on the listing as a “virtual tour” of the home is even more disconcerting.
Backed by horror movie sound effects, Foster begins the video by showcasing the neglected yard and how there’s wood rot in all of the window frames. She then enters the house and describes an overwhelmingly rancid smell.
“There was human and animal feces left in the living room to greet you as you walk in,” she says of the first time she entered the property.
She says the prior tenant had a “menagerie of animals” and that the carpets are saturated with urine throughout the house.
In the video, she notes that the spray-painted vulgarities around the house are also on appliances, and that the prior tenant stole the stove and dishwasher. In the basement, drawers are crammed with feces.
Foster said the prior tenant also pretended to be the owner of the home and had a new roof contracted — which was apparently not installed well.
In her video, Foster also offers more information about the tenant who left the house in this state, explaining that she was not on the lease.
“No one knows what happened to the original lessee, but it’s believed that she died and then a relative moved in,” Foster says. “And it’s the relative who moved in who did all of this damage after she’d been evicted.”
And as horrid as the house may be, nothing can prepare one for possibly the most horrid detail.
“It’s my understanding she had cats,” Foster says of the prior tenant in the video. “But tragically, when she moved out, she left two of them in the bathroom. It appears they have been there for quite some time.”
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